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mary rosenblum
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Hello all.
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mary rosenblum
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Sorry to be a bit late.
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mary rosenblum
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I had a couple of eleventh
hour submissions for tonight...
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mary rosenblum
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and since the notice went out
late (the server was down) I hated to miss anyone.
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mary rosenblum
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This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor. Tonight we're doing a hands-on
workshop. I've published seven novels (number eight will be out in
November) , more than 60 short stories, and will do my best to answer any
questions you have. If you're new here, remember that you need to click on
the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble' next to the red question
mark at the top of the screen in order to ask a question. Your regular
'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can use /ask and type your question into
the regular send bar if that works better for you..
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mary rosenblum
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I had a couple of requests for
a workshop. So here we are.
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mary rosenblum
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If you haven't participated in
these before...
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mary rosenblum
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I put up short chunks...an
opening or a brief synopsis...that someone has submitted for comments.
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mary rosenblum
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I comment and you all can
comment, too.
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mary rosenblum
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It's a great way to get a
stuck story unstuck, or find out that what you're worried about works after
all. :-) Or you were right and it doesn't.
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mary rosenblum
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I'll start with Tory's
synopsis. She wants to know if this works.
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mary rosenblum
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Anika (Niki) Bradley, a
thirty-nine year old stay-at-home mom from Washington, DC trips into an
adventure visiting Albania with her husband, Brad. They've come to explore
Niki's ancestor's village in the northern mountains. On their way to dinner
the first evening in Tirana, they are panhandled by a tiny street urchin
named Ana.
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mary rosenblum
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OR
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mary rosenblum
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Children are disappearing in
Albania.
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mary rosenblum
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Thirty-nine-year-old,
stay-at-home mom Anika (Niki) Bradley and husband, Brad, are searching for
the village where her grandmother was born in the northern mountains. Their
first evening in Tirana they are panhandled by a tiny street urchin named
Ana. Niki refuses money, but offers the child dinner.
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mary rosenblum
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Ana appears and slips away
repeatedly over the next few days. Niki aches to make a difference in this
girl's life; Brad is skeptical and believes she's part of a scam ring.
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mary rosenblum
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Niki coaxes information from
the waif and discovers she is one of seven orphans living in an abandoned
building. The children share stories of neglect, exploitation, and the
bizarre experience of being snatched on nights of the new moon, "dark
moon" to the children.
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mary rosenblum
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This is a novel synopsis, not
a short story.
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mary rosenblum
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And it's very bare-bones
here...we don't know what happens, or who the 'bad guys' might be...
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mary rosenblum
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whether this is a dark
fantasy, horror, or mystery. (It could be any of the three)
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mary rosenblum
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So I can't really comment on
the end. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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But overall, it has a lot
going for it as a novel.
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mary rosenblum
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You have an exotic
setting...Albania...
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mary rosenblum
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and naive main characters who
will have to discover the village, thus allowing us to discover it, too.
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tory
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This is just the opening para or
so, Mary. They syn. is 3 pages long. Just not sure how to begin it.
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mary rosenblum
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Well, tell me first, Tory,
what genre this is? That will help. :-)
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tory
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Suspense (I guess.)
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mary rosenblum
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So no ghosts or demons are
involved.
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tory
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Can they intervene and help
these hcildren? (Which, of course, they do.)
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mary rosenblum
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Of course. It's your job to
create characters who are capable of that kind of altruism...
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mary rosenblum
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they're not self-centered rich
folk who see the girl as a dirty nuisance.
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mary rosenblum
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Your task will be to create an
instant bond between Ana and Niki right off the bat.
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mary rosenblum
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You can do that.
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mary rosenblum
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Maybe she looks like the photo
Niki has of her grandmother at the same age.
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mary rosenblum
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And the girl and she make an
instant connection.
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mary rosenblum
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Start thinking about the
language issue now, though.
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mary rosenblum
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How come she speaks English?
How come NIki speaks Albanian?
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mary rosenblum
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I would begin with the
children disappearing.
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mary rosenblum
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Maybe the villagers are all on
edge and at first Niki can't figure out why they're rude when they were
nice last visit...
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mary rosenblum
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or something like that.
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mary rosenblum
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They connect with Ana and then
they find out the story. Awful. And then Ana goes missing.
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mary rosenblum
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Now they'll have good reason
to get involved.
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mary rosenblum
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You could plausibly end up
with them later on discovering that indeed Ana is a distant relative. That
would be a nice bonus. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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But if you set them up as
ethical people who have stepped out of their comfort zone to help people
before...
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mary rosenblum
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then it's perfectly reasonable
that they would get involved, especially with the family connection to the
village.
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tory
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Thanks, Mary. So with a
synopsis, besides huitting the highest plot points--stat with a hook?
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mary rosenblum
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Always. Begin with something
that makes the editor keep reading.
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tory
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I WONDERED about making them
distant relatives at end. Not to "convenient"?
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mary rosenblum
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Not if you set it up right.
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mary rosenblum
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WAr has touched nearly all
towns in Albania.
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mary rosenblum
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It could be that she's the
orphan child of a sister of the grandmother or something like that...
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mary rosenblum
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she heard about her
grandmother's sister, whom she had to leave behind in Albania and who
disappeared during the 'bad years'...
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mary rosenblum
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or something like that.
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mary rosenblum
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Everybody knows who everybody
is related to in a small town...
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mary rosenblum
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and as they gain local trust,
someone might piece Ana's history together for them...
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mary rosenblum
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and they realize she must be
the sister's granddaughter.
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mary rosenblum
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You can find a way to make the
connection. A family house...an emblem...something.
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megger
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How about splitting the time
between the grandmother's time and the present with children disappearing
in both periods?
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mary rosenblum
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That would be something other
than a suspense novel, but it would be a cool form, meg.
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mary rosenblum
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Louise Marley did something
like that in her Glass Harmonica...
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mary rosenblum
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following two developing plot
lines, one in the present, one in Ben Franklin's time, both related by the
glass harmonica.
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mary rosenblum
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It works, but it's hard to
pull off since you are constantly leaping back and forth.
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mary rosenblum
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This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor. Tonight we're doing a hands-on
workshop. I've published seven novels (number eight will be out in
November) , more than 60 short stories, and will do my best to answer any
questions you have. If you're new here, remember that you need to click on
the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble' next to the red question
mark at the top of the screen in order to ask a question. Your regular
'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can use /ask and type your question into
the regular send bar if that works better for you..
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mary rosenblum
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Remember that things are only
'too convenient' if you plop them into the story without planting them
carefully. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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You can make anything
plausible if you work at it hard enough.
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mary rosenblum
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Make your Albania real, Tory.
That will be a big bonus and help sell this.
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mary rosenblum
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try using /ask in your regular
send bar, Carla.
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mary rosenblum
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You can ask a longer question
that way.
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carla
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What is the rule of thumb for a
synopsis on length for a short story verse a novel? What is the difference
between a synopsis and query in content? Could you not use same excerpt for
both?
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mary rosenblum
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Well, you can certainly cover
a short story more completely in fewer pages than you can cover a novel.
:-)
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mary rosenblum
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But generally, you'll have a
page limit for any synopis you turn in...the agent or editor will specify a
length.
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mary rosenblum
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If not, I'd keep any synopsis
under ten pages.
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mary rosenblum
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For novel I mean.
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mary rosenblum
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As to query, no they're not
the same.
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mary rosenblum
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A query is just a 'do you want
to see this?' question...
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mary rosenblum
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and it's usually a paragraph
or two long at the most.
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mary rosenblum
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And here, you just want that
editor or agent to ask to read the manuscript, so you want to hook
him/her...
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mary rosenblum
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the same way you hook a reader
with that bookcover blurb.
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mary rosenblum
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You don't need to tell the
recipient of a query how the story ends. Let them ask for it, if they want
to know. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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Good practice for writing a
fiction query is to read the blurbs on book covers.
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attybern
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What is the purpose of the
synopsis to an editor?
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mary rosenblum
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The synopsis essentially shows
the editor the dramatic arc.
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mary rosenblum
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The editor wants to know if
you have a strong start, a good dramatic arc, enough interesting events to
keep the middle moving, and a powerful end.
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mary rosenblum
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A synopsis reveals that.
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mary rosenblum
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Usually, three chapters
accompany the synopsis.
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mary rosenblum
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Those let the editor evaluate
your level of prose.
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mary rosenblum
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While the query is a 'tease',
the synopsis is a type of outline. A snapshot of the entire book, INCLUDING
the ending.
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attybern
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Is this submitted before you
actually write the story?
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mary rosenblum
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Only if you are a published
writer, atty.
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mary rosenblum
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I can sell a novel on the
basis of a proposal. An unpublished writer cannot, because for every 100
would be novelists with a good idea
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mary rosenblum
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only a small fraction of that
100 actually finish a saleable novel.
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mary rosenblum
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You have to prove that you can
DO it before you can sell on proposal.
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attybern
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So the synopsis is to see if the
editor has an interest?
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mary rosenblum
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The query does that.
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mary rosenblum
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These days, most agents and
publishers want a query first.
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mary rosenblum
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If they think you have a book
they could sell/publish, they'll ask for either a synopsis or the whole
mss.
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attybern
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In the book you already have
written.
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mary rosenblum
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Generally, atty, the writers
guidelines will tell you what the editor wants.
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mary rosenblum
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Every publisher and agent
wants something specific...
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mary rosenblum
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so there is no 'general rule'.
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mary rosenblum
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Some want a query.
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mary rosenblum
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Some want a synopsis.
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mary rosenblum
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Some want a synopsis and
chapters.
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mary rosenblum
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Some want the entire mss.
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carla
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Is this the same rules/standards
for short stories/articles both fiction and non fiction
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mary rosenblum
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No ,Carla, nonfiction is VERY
different.
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mary rosenblum
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There you query most of the
time, for short work.
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mary rosenblum
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In fiction, you nearly always
send in the entire mss for short stories.
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attybern
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I would assume that it is a way
to control submissions?
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mary rosenblum
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Yes, and physical volume.
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mary rosenblum
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About 80% of most submissions
are inappropriate for the publisher...
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mary rosenblum
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since publishers get say 1000 subs
a month or more at big houses...
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mary rosenblum
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that is a LOT of heavy paper
to send back to the author.
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mary rosenblum
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They'd rather look at the ten
page synopsis and if it's appropriate, ask for the mss.
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mary rosenblum
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You'd be amazed at how many
writers don't read guidelines and send stuff in that doesn't belong.
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mary rosenblum
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Not everybody is as informed
and professional as those of you who hang out here and actually learn how
to do this!
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mary rosenblum
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You're the minority.
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mary rosenblum
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Really.
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charie'
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What is a good dramatic arc?
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mary rosenblum
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A good dramatic arc is a story
that starts at a certain point, the dramatic tension rises to a climax, and
the story resolves quickly.
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oddangel
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I have a problem of writing what
I think is a good sequence of scenes, but find that they don't
"work" when I try to "connect the dots." Any
suggestions on how to improve such a disconnect? Or is this just part of
the process?
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mary rosenblum
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Yeah, it's part of the process
odd. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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Try 'roughing out' the scenes
as summaries before you write them all, and then think through ways to
connect those dots...
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mary rosenblum
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before you write down all
those scenes. That may help you.
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mary rosenblum
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I play with scene archetecture
for a long time before I actually start writing.
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mary rosenblum
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I'm lazy and I HATE rewriting.
Revising, I love. Tearing something apart and rewriting it is work.
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mary rosenblum
|
This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor. Tonight we're doing a hands-on
workshop. I've published seven novels (number eight will be out in
November) , more than 60 short stories, and will do my best to answer any
questions you have. If you're new here, remember that you need to click on
the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble' next to the red question
mark at the top of the screen in order to ask a question. Your regular
'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can use /ask and type your question into
the regular send bar if that works better for you..
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carla
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I am trying to make the
transition between money markets and volunteer/contributor copy markets,
opinion or As I See It pieces would be considered non fiction for the
purpose of synopsis/queries?
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mary rosenblum
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Yes, that's personal essay or
personal narrative nonfiction, Carla.
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mary rosenblum
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I'll give you a tip, though.
:-)
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mary rosenblum
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The quickest way into the
upper markets is with an ariticle that targets the readership of that mag,
has not been published in the last two years there, and contains original
source material.
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mary rosenblum
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Editors WANT that.
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mary rosenblum
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Sometimes, even if they don't
want THAT piece, they'll write back and suggest you send them something on
a different topic.
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mary rosenblum
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That has happened to several
of my students. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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.I'd like to know if this is a
viable story idea and get some suggestions on where I should take it from
this point. I have a 3,000 word limit.
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mary rosenblum
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This from dwkav
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mary rosenblum
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It's a cool shape changer
story, dw. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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I keep coming back to the
image of that coat coming to life, but I keep seeing it as a hoard of
REALLY angry minks. LOL
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mary rosenblum
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Harper and Brenda are going on
their first date. Harper's ex-girlfriend Vivian broke into Brenda's
apartment and changed places with the mink coat Brenda borrowed from her
mom. When Harper arrives and tries to kiss Brenda, they are attacked by the
coat and must fight their way into the back bedroom. Harper tries calling
for help, but Vivian has taken care of that too. Riley the bodyguard has
been poisoned.
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mary rosenblum
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This is a strong climax scene,
dw.
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mary rosenblum
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You can just work backward
from there to a beginning.
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mary rosenblum
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We're going to need to know
who Vivian is, why she would do this, as well as getting a sense of the
world.
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mary rosenblum
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And of course, how does it
end?
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mary rosenblum
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Your conflict might be pretty
external...Harper dumped Vivian and that's a bad idea if your ex is a shape
change or witch or whatever she is. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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Your POV is going to depend on
whose story it is.
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mary rosenblum
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IT might be Vivians. Be wary
of a woman scorned.
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dwkav
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I was thinking about this this
afternoon and the idea the Brenda is a shape-shifter as well came to mind.
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mary rosenblum
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I was going to suggest that.
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mary rosenblum
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If Vivian attacks, thinking
that she is going to have an easy vengeance, then Brenda might surprise
her.
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mary rosenblum
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BUT...
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mary rosenblum
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your real challenge here is to
create a plausible world where this can take place.
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mary rosenblum
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It will be very thin if you
merely focus on the action.
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charie'
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Suggestion: Maybe Harper dumped
Vivian because she shifts, now he finds out Brenda shifts too
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mary rosenblum
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That's a nice twist. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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He dumps them both, and they
end up shaking hands and heading out the door, both with vengeance in their
eyes. LOL
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mary rosenblum
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That actually could be a very
funny twist story, set in a universe where many people have magic
abilities.
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mary rosenblum
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But do set up a world where
this can plausibly happen.
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mary rosenblum
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I see too many of this type of
story where the action happens in a usual setting...
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mary rosenblum
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with no real explanation of
how come these people exist, is this a different universe, why don't we see
them every day, and so forth.
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janecj333
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Maybe Brenda is Vivian's
ex-boyfriend
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mary rosenblum
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Oh, that's cute!
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mary rosenblum
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Shape shifting can cover a lot
of shapes after all.
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dwkav
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I was also going to limit
Vivian's abilities. She can only become an animal of some type. Maybe
Brenda can become birds or reptiles.
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mary rosenblum
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YOu could do a fun 'I can top
you' exchange where each one shifts into a more deadly critter...
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mary rosenblum
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and the 'biggest teeth' wins.
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mary rosenblum
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You know, I'd go for humor
here, rather than melodrama. :-) This could be camp and loads of fun.
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mary rosenblum
|
This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor. Tonight we're doing a hands-on
workshop. I've published seven novels (number eight will be out in
November) , more than 60 short stories, and will do my best to answer any
questions you have. If you're new here, remember that you need to click on
the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble' next to the red question
mark at the top of the screen in order to ask a question. Your regular
'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can use /ask and type your question into
the regular send bar if that works better for you..
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dwkav
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That was my original intent. :o)
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mary rosenblum
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Oh, good!
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mary rosenblum
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Then anything goes and you can
go way over the top here. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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I still LOVE the image of the
coat dissolving into a hoard of furious minks, fangs bared, swarming for
their ankles.
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megger
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The mother as the mink coat!
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mary rosenblum
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She emerges from the closet...
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mary rosenblum
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Oh, do this dw. It is SO fun.
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charie'
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After the big climax. all the
furniture shifts into his relatives
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mary rosenblum
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NO kidding. I'm chuckling out
loud. You could take this idea a loooooongg way.
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dwkav
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Great ideas, thanks everyone.
Mary, I'll email it to you when it's done, if you like. :o)
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mary rosenblum
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I think it's going to be a fun
romp, dw.
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mary rosenblum
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Boy, you could get paranoid
living in a universe where the phone booth might be Uncle Albert.
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dwkav
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Oh yeah!
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mary rosenblum
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A romance author and her grown
daughter, also a writer, have never gotten along well. The mother is
super-critical, and the daughter has a thin skin. The daughter, who has
been working in NYC for thirteen years as a magazine editor, quits her job
and returns home to write the novel she has been working on sporadically
since college. She thinks she can handle her mother now. But, almost from
the moment she sets foot in the door, the women are at each others'
throats. Caught in the middle is the older woman's male secretary, who has
to listen to each woman complain about the other through him. He refuses to
take sides, but the daughter feels she has won when she seduces and marries
him. A month after the wedding, the mother dies of a stroke. Without her
mother's criticism to goad her, the daughter stops writing her novel. She
stops writing altogether. After all, there are other things to concentrate
on, like the child she is carrying.
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mary rosenblum
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A year later, the man sees his
mother-in-law's ghost appear in the family library. She tells him he is
still her secretary, and she still has many books to write. He tries to
ignore her, but she appears several more times, demanding that he take
dictation. To shut her up, gets a steno pad and begins to take down her
words. They are quite good, better, in fact, than anything she wrote when
she was alive. He decides not to tell his wife who the real author is. It
would only upset her. He'll just tell her the words are his own, inspired
by her mother's spirit.
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mary rosenblum
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This is a very truncated
synopsis of the story I've been trying to write in order to complete my
last Long Ridge course assignment. When I turned in the original synopsis,
my mentor suggested that there might be too much material here for a
2,500-word story, but I don't know know what to cut. Should I start it when
the ghost first makes its appearance, and tell the of the story through
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mary rosenblum
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I think your instructor is
right that if you start with that backstory, this is gonna be way long...
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mary rosenblum
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But that first post I made
really is all backstory, Schreiber.
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mary rosenblum
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I agree...I think you should
start with the ghost appearing.
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mary rosenblum
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As the poor guy tries to
decide between selling a best-seller and keeping his marriage intact, we'll
find out all about the past.
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charie'
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I'd cut the subplot of the
daughter trying to write.
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mary rosenblum
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Oh, but that's the main
conflict here, charie.
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mary rosenblum
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why not just write the books
and make tons of money?
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mary rosenblum
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BUT...
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mary rosenblum
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if the daughter recognizes her
mother's voice and gets REALLY bent out of shape..
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mary rosenblum
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he might lose his marriage.
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charie'
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Just have the daughter competing
with mother's affection versus the writing career
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mary rosenblum
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You could do that. It's a
different story, though.
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dwkav
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I'd start at the mother's
funeral and have the daughter, married and pregnant, say something telling
about the m/d relationship.
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mary rosenblum
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That's one place.I think since
Shreiber has only 2500 words to work with...
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mary rosenblum
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and a lot of backstory has to
get worked in, that the ghost is probably a better place to start...
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mary rosenblum
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and the mother/daughter
comments can come in as Daughter reads in the arts section of the paper...
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mary rosenblum
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that one of her mother's books
was lauded by someone.
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mary rosenblum
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Or something like that.
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janecj333
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If the daughter seduces the
secretary to spite her mother, the truth is probably that she doesn't love
the man.
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mary rosenblum
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Clearly not, and I'd say the
sympathetic character here...if there is going to be one...would most
likely be the secretary.
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charie'
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If daughter sees husband going
for the writing career, she'll be threatened
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mary rosenblum
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Absolutely.
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mary rosenblum
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I think the challenge here is
to figure out whose story this is and what the conflict is.
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mary rosenblum
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If the secretary is a nice guy
and loves the daughter in spite of herself, he is going to be in a dilemma
about this ghost writing thing.
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mary rosenblum
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If she finds out, he might
lose the marriage.
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mary rosenblum
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But on the other hand, Mom
made a lot of money and these books will, too.
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mary rosenblum
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If he doesn't tell her and
just starts turning out bestsellers, that, too might end the marriage.
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mary rosenblum
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jealousy might rear its ugly
head.
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janecj333
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The ghost of the mother, knowing
her daughter's emotional infidelity, finds a way to help the husband
realize he has been used.
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mary rosenblum
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I like that, Jane.
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mary rosenblum
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I think that's the best
version so far.
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mary rosenblum
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And in the end, he can walk
away with those potential best sellers.
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janecj333
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Through the story she has him
dictate.
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mary rosenblum
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Oh, I missed that second part
to your post. That would work.
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lorib
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how about with each chapter he
dictates the daughter gets a flash back, from a word or clue the mother
only used.
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mary rosenblum
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That's how the daughter might
figure out why hubby can write...she recognizes her mother's voice.
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schreiber
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The daughter has never read any
of her mother's books.
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schreiber
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Romance? Ugh!
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mary rosenblum
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Ah, so that's out .
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mary rosenblum
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Well, if you make her a
negative character, she's going to get her nose rubbed in her attitude if
hubby starts turning out best selling romances. :-)
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charie'
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Mom was probably spiteful and
daughter/secretary are broke
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mary rosenblum
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Or if daughter is the
'villalin' here, maybe they're well off and daughter still resents mom who
made all that money.
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dwkav
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Daughter could start competing
with the husband after he starts writing. Start treating him the way she
treated her mom.
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mary rosenblum
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That's very real life. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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If you wanted this to be a
grim, mainstream story that would be the route to take.
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speckledorf
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Since she hates romance she will
look down on him for writing it...more conflict maybe.
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mary rosenblum
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Yes.
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mary rosenblum
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But since this has a 2500 word
limit, I'd go for a punchline end rather than an evolved and complex
relationship conflict.
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janecj333
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I mean,' through the story she
dictates to him'. If she were to simply tell him abt her daughter, he might
not believe it. But through the story he suddenly realizes the truth.
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mary rosenblum
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That's what I assumed you
meant, Jane. As he writes the story, he realizes he's in it.
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onepozy
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too much material for 2500
words, choose one senario, save the rest and go for a book later
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mary rosenblum
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That's why the punchline would
work better here.
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mary rosenblum
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To show the deteriorating
relationship between wife and husband, based on her relationship with Mom
is longer than 2500 words...to work.
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charie'
|
Have the dictated novel end with
daughter killing mother
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mary rosenblum
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Oooh, now that's a thought,
charie!
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mary rosenblum
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And he now knows where to find
the hidden murder weapon.
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mary rosenblum
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good call!
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mary rosenblum
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That's much simpler than the
relationship issues, Schreiber, and you could easily pull this off in 2500
words.
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mary rosenblum
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We don't even need to see the
cops come.
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mary rosenblum
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All we need is to see hubby
stack the last pages of the mss and call the police. "I want to report
a murder'. The end.
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janecj333
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Ooh, nice, Charie.
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mary rosenblum
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Yep.
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mary rosenblum
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You could include brief
snatches of critical scenes, interspersed with hubby dealing with not very
nice wife.
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schreiber
|
I think I've created a monster!
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mary rosenblum
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I think you have several good
options, shreiber. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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Of all the ones we have
considered, I think Charie's idea of the dictated story revealing her
murder by the daugher and pointing to the evidence is the strongest...
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mary rosenblum
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in terms of a 2500 word limit.
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schreiber
|
Thank you, everyone.
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mary rosenblum
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We had fun. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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"I am being
followed," Cassandra thought as she maneuvered her SUV through the
rush hour traffic."Regardless of what everyone else thinks, and it is
not the first time". Pulling in to her parking spot, she couldn't help
but remember how everyone patronized her when she voiced her concerns.
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mary rosenblum
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Even Jim Owens, her immediate
supervisor, had poked fun at her concerns. "Come on Cassie, we live in
a big city and you are a creature of habit. Why, it's only natural that you
just might see the same car , going in the same direction, at the same time
you do every day. Who knows, maybe that person is in the same rut you are.
Next time you notice the car, why don't you try to get their attention.
Heck, you could start your own Rideshare program!"
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mary rosenblum
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Although she smiled when he
said what he was sure was the funniest thing in the world, inside she was
upset. First and foremost, she absolutely hated being called Cassie and,
secondly, the last thing she wanted to do was make contact with a perfect
stranger.
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mary rosenblum
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Donna sent me this.
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mary rosenblum
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I think she said it was the
opening of a mystery.
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mary rosenblum
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Well, just a note, Donna,
don't use quotation marks for thoughts.
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mary rosenblum
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Use those for spoken dialogue
only. No special punctuation is needed for thoughts.
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writingfool
|
Hi everyone. thanks for reading
i think i'm being followed
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mary rosenblum
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Is that yours, writing?
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writingfool
|
thanks, I'm still very new. Just
finished my 3rd assignment
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mary rosenblum
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Welcome!
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mary rosenblum
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And it's a nice start to a
story.
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mary rosenblum
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I think you'll have a stronger
effect here, if you 'show' us the shadow and don't have her think about
people's comments...
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mary rosenblum
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all in a lump like that.
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mary rosenblum
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Let her think about her boss's
disbelief as she maneuvers through traffic...
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mary rosenblum
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watching the shadow tail her.
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mary rosenblum
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That tail is a great way to
start. Makes a solid hook.
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writingfool
|
I see it as a mystery/romance
about two women who don't know
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writingfool
|
they are twins
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mary rosenblum
|
That's interesting. Novel or
short story, writing?
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writingfool
|
novel
|
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mary rosenblum
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Then definitely take your time
here, writing. I would start by writing out the actions of the drive as she
tries to make sure she really is being tailed.
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mary rosenblum
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And make the scene nice and
tense!
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mary rosenblum
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No matter what is really going
on, most readers will assume a tail is dangerous...a criminal.
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mary rosenblum
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So use that to your advantage
to hook the reader.
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mary rosenblum
|
I am being followed. Cassandra
watched the silver SUV creep up on her bumper. As the light changed, she
watched for an opening, and twisted the wheel...
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mary rosenblum
|
zipping in between a little
sports car and a Beamer and earning a blast from the Beamer's horn and a
glare from the driver.
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mary rosenblum
|
Sure enough...a block later,
the silver SUV was behind the Beamer.
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mary rosenblum
|
"So, Jim Owens, Mr. Boss
Man Know It All," she snapped. "Tell me I'm imagining things
now."
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mary rosenblum
|
What I did in this example was
to mix her actions with thoughts. That's a good way to include backstory
without stopping your story.
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megger
|
I think her supervisor could be
the stalker, maybe is dating her twin? ...not a perfect stranger after all
but still a shadow. Something nefarious happening...
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mary rosenblum
|
Yeah, you'll have to think
about that the central conflict is here.
|
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mary rosenblum
|
Even in a romance, you have
the conflict that threatens the budding romance.
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mary rosenblum
|
Ah, writing, everybody has
read without really paying close attention.
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mary rosenblum
|
That's what learning is all
about.
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mary rosenblum
|
It's about discovering just
how to do what seems to effortless when you read it...
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mary rosenblum
|
and discovering that it took
that author quite a lot of work!
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janecj333
|
But what is important in
Cassandra's life? What does she want ( before any of this happens)? How is
the person who's fellowing her related to her?? From work? Her past?
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mary rosenblum
|
Yes, we don't really have
anything here but the opening. And as the start to a romance or mystery,
it's a good hook.
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mary rosenblum
|
We want to find out who's
tailing her.
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janecj333
|
I need help with a novel
opening, to prevent it from seeming too fragmented. In scene one, the main
character is not the pov, in scene two she is the pov, in scene three she
is not pov...and, in each scene, the character with her is a different
person each of which will become crucial to her survival.
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mary rosenblum
|
That is hard, Jane, because
readers will always assume the POV is the main character.
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|
mary rosenblum
|