Mary Rosenblum, Long Ridge Web Editor, has published three SF novels, four mysteries, and more than 60 short stories in multiple genres, as well as nonfiction! She also teaches writing and is a LR instructor.  Most recently, her SF short story Jumpers can be found on the SciFiction Magazine website.  Skin Deep a story written in immediate First Person will appear soon in Asimov’s Magazine.

 

 

 

 

 

First Person POV

 

By Mary Rosenblum

 

 

            What is First Person POV?  It’s the ‘I’ voice.  We are either allowing the character to tell the story, or we are telling the story outright, as the author.  How many of you had at least one teacher in school who called First Person the ‘natural storytelling voice’?  Raise your hands!  Aha…quite a few of you.  Well, you can call it the storytelling voice because it is a storytelling voice.   And for many novice writers, it is the easiest voice to use for their stories.

 

            But is it the best?  

 

            Well, that depends.  There are reasons to use First as opposed to Third Person for a story.  For more information on that topic, you can read:  First or Third Person, Is There a Reason To Choose   http://www.longridgewritersgroup.com/rx/wc05/first_or_third.shtml

 

            Meanwhile, let’s look at the different types of First Person POV.  We have two types of First Person.  We have ‘Narrative First Person’, and ‘Immediate First Person’.  They are quite different and have different impacts on the reader.

 

Once Upon a Time…

 

            We’ve all read the fairy tales.  Once upon a time, that comfortable narrative voice tells us, There lived a rabbit called Peter.  Now the fairy tales are written in narrative third person.  However, an element of that comfort exists in narrative First Person.  Here, our POV character is clearly telling us about an event in the past.  When I was twelve, Granny Bigelow called me into her study.  Now Granny never had nothing to do with us kids…  Our narrator is telling the story and using that ‘I’ voice.  He’s telling us a story that is over.  It happened to him when he was twelve.  And he is still here to tell us about it, so clearly, whatever happened, we don’t have to worry that a character we’ve grown to love will get killed off by an unfeeling author! 

 

            So point one in favor of using the narrative First Person is that it adds security for the reader.  That reader can relax and enjoy the ride, knowing that no car wreck waits around the next thrilling curve or breathless drop.

 

            But hey, that means there’s not a whole lot of suspense either.  This might not be the best First Person POV to use if your story depends on our worries about the survival of your main character.  There IS no worry if that character is telling us the story after the fact!   So it is not the best choice for a story where you want the reader to worry about the main character’s survival. 

 

            What about immediate First Person, what is that?  That is when the character describes events as they happen.  Often the story is told in present tense, to intensify the sense of ‘right now’.  I go down this long all and the hair’s standing up on my neck.  Something’s watching me.  I can feel it, like a fingernail poking me in the back.  Did Jed really send that thing back where it came from or is it still there?   Here, our POV is telling us what is going on as he walks down that hall.  For all we know, his narrative will break off and the author will add a little note:  The above was taken from Aaron’s diary, which was found next to the odd pile of ashes in the hall.   Because the story is written as if the character is speaking to us right here and now, we can have that uncertainty and suspense…will he survive?

 

            So if you want to include suspense, if you want the reader to worry about your POV character, than that immediate First Person is your best choice.  Present tense increases our sense of ‘right now’

 

            Whether you use a narrative First Person or a immediate First Person, one aspect is critically important.  Character voice.  Whether the speaker is a fictional character or the author, it is equally important to reveal that character through the speech, vocabulary, emotional shading, and the like.  Without any sense of character that I voice is nothing more than the computer voice that speaks from a machine. 

 

            So how do we reveal character through first person?  We reveal ourselves every time we open our mouths.  Let’s look at two First Person examples here, both immediate, and each revealing something about the speaker. 

 

Let’s look at an example of First Person Immediate.

 

            I walk through the park to the store every Thursday, because they have the Senior Discount on Thursday and I clip the coupon from the Monday Food Day section.  Sometimes the paper boy doesn’t leave the paper.  I call to complain about it when it happens.  I always phone the main desk and ask for the editor.  He won’t talk to me and that makes me angry.  I prefer the Times anyway. 

 

            So what do we know?  Well, our POV walks to the store and probably pinches pennies, since those coupons are important.  Sometimes he or she doesn’t get the paper and when that happens, the MC calls the editor.  But the editor won’t talk about the problem. 

 

            Now let’s look at another example. 

 

            I walk through the park to the store every Thursday because that’s the day they got the Senior Discount and I always clip the coupon from the Monday Food Day section.  ‘Cept when that snotty paperboy doesn’t leave the paper.  You know he sells it to someone else, pockets the dime.   Figures an old geezer won’t notice.  Well, I notice, you better  believe it. I call the main number, none of that call the distributor stuff.  You know that distributor don’t care.  Heck, I call right to the main desk and they know me by know, you better believe that, too.  I ask for the editor.  Why waste your time with the little guy, go right to the top I always say, right to the top. ‘Course he won’t talk to me.  What a pile of bull.  Where would he be if we didn’t buy his stinking papers, and they’re not so good, either.  Now the Times, now there’s a paper for you.

 

            So what do we know about the character here?  Well, again, we know that he’s probably pinching pennies..the coupons matter.  But we know so much more about HIM!   He’s prickly and quick to feel that he’s being taken advantage of.  He doesn’t try to figure out how best to deal with a situation but rather charges into the situation, wanting to take on the top person.  When he can’t get his way, he disparages the paper.  He’s a crotchety old guy, who demands to have things his way and gets angry quickly when things don’t go his way.   But we have a much greater sense of him as a character. 

 

            Why?  His voice.  And we’re much more certain that he IS a he in our second version.  Now this could be a woman talking, but the aggressive tone suggests a man and the author hasn’t given us any other hints.  He elaborates.  He expresses his opinion.  In the first example, our POV simply describes the situation without any particular emotional color.  It is nearly objective in tone. 

 

            Remember that ‘I’ is always a character, whether you are writing fiction or nonfiction, and thus, you need to give the reader as sense of that character.   Even if your character is telling us about his encounter with Aunt Bigelow when he was twelve, you need to give us a sense of that voice as a character. 

 

            `I is a real person, too!