Revealing POV

By Mary Rosenblum

 

            We all know that realistic characters are very important.  But the how of creating realistic characters is not always covered well by many books on writing.  Obviously you don’t want to stop the story to tell your readers all about this person.  Show, don’t tell is important, too.  So just how do you bring those characters to life by showing?

 

The Character Filter

            One of the most effective tools of characterization is the character filter.  What is a filter?  It’s a barrier that keeps some things out and allows other things in.  If you think about your good friend, everything that person says or does is affected by that person’s world view, beliefs, religion, prejudices, childhood, education… They allow some things in, keep other things out.   In essence, every time that person makes a decision or utters a sentence, we catch a glimpse of that friend’s character.

 

He Said:

            Let’s take a walk down the street with a couple of friends.  Roger is about 23,  a paramedic, hopes to be a firefighter one day.  He loves cars, is in between girlfriends, and is in very good shape.  As we walk down the street, what does he notice?  He notices the cars, enthuses over the blue, metal-flake Mustang GT and talks about how he’s going to buy one just like that when his finances are in better shape.  You pass yards full of flowers but he’s oblivious.  He talks about how he finally bench pressed 220 in the gym.  He pays no attention to the kids riding bikes and jumping rope in the park, but he turns to watch as a couple of late-teen girls stroll past in tight cut-offs and halter tops.   If you are writing this scene, this is all you show us.  This is all your character sees and it tells us a lot about Roger. 

            Roger eyeballed the Mustang GT at the curb, it’s royal blue, metal-flake paint gleaming.  “Soon as I land a full time firefighter job, that’s what I’m buying.”  He sighed.  “You ever seen the test we got to take for firefighter?  Whoo, mama.”  He flexed his arms.  “I mean I work out five, maybe six times a week.  Don’t smoke.  And it’s still a killer.  But I finally benched 220.  Man, that’s a mark.”  He grinned at Joel, ‘cause old Joel was always boasting about his bench numbers, and they weren’t 220.  Two chicks came out of the drugstore at the corner.  He didn’t recognize them, gave ‘em the eye.  Nice pair on the blonde.  They giggled and looked and he looked back.  “You know ‘em?”  He looked at Joel, who shrugged. 

            Notice that the description is written with  Roger’s vocabulary.  He eyeballs that GT.  The girls are ‘chicks’ and the blonde one has a ‘nice pair’.  Not politically correct language, but this is what Roger thinks and we’re in HIS point of view, not the author’s.  What would happen if we didn’t filter this scene through Roger’s thoughts, feelings, prejudices? 

            Roger examined  the Mustang GT at the curb.  It was a royal blue color with, metal-flake paint and brand new.  “As soon as I land a full time firefighter job, that’s the car I’ll buy.”  He sighed.  “Have you ever seen the test we have  to take to be a  firefighter?  Whoo, mama.”  He flexed his muscular  arms.  “I mean I work out five, maybe six times a week.  I don’t smoke.  And it’s still really hard.  But I finally bench pressed 220 pounds.  Man, that’s a mark.”  He grinned at his friend Joel.  At that moment, two young women came out of  the drugstore at the corner.  Roger  didn’t recognize them.  They were pretty, especially the blonde girl. They giggled and he smiled at them.  “Do you know them?”  he asked Joel, who shrugged. 

            In the above example, the text is written in narrative form…i.e. the author’s vocabulary.  The dialogue is similar, but Roger’s vocabulary, personal views, and thoughts are lacking from this example.  Which one gives the reader a stronger sense of Roger as a person?   In the first example, I became Roger.  What does he see? I asked myself.  What is running through his mind right now?  What is he aware of?  I answered all those questions in that paragraph.

 

She Said:

            Now, let’s take a walk down the same street with Amy, home from her first year at college.  She is a quiet girl, writes poetry, and her mother was an avid gardener.  She wants a degree in art.  This is the same street, exactly.

            Amy strolled along the sidewalk looking at the yards.  You could tell so much about a person from their yard.   Old Mrs. Hutchins, here, she did the fifties petunia and marigold border and everything else was scalped grass. But then, she was right out of ‘Leave It To Beaver.   She waved as the Harris kid biked past making motorcycle noises.  A new car caught her eye, a bright blue sports car.  Amy wondered who it belonged to.  You didn’t see new cars in this neighborhood very often.  She looked up to see two girls leaving the drug store.  Evie.  Maybe the  blonde was her cousin from Denmark. Evie had said she was coming to visit.

            Now this is the same street.  To Amy, it’s not a Mustang GT with royal blue metal-flake paint.  It’s a blue sports car.  She has no idea what make it is.  And while Roger never even noticed the Harris kid, she does.  She doesn’t see two chicks exiting the drug store, she sees Evie and maybe her cousin from  Denmark.  Her vocabulary and voice are very different from Roger’s and reveal a very different person.

 

How Do They Perceive It?

            Perception is the key to POV filtering. Sit yourself down behind your character’s eyes.  What does he/she see?  Hear?  Smell/taste/feel?  What does he/she think?  Portray the scene entirely through your character’s perceptions and we will begin to know your character as a real person, the same way we get to know a stranger as we chat, shop, work, or visit with them. 

            Step right up, sit down behind those eyes and become your character.  Now show us what you see…