Look Behind You!

Creating Suspense

By Mary Rosenblum

 

            The inhuman shriek split the night once more.  This time it came from behind her.  Miranda turned slowly, her heart pounding.  The willows quivered as something huge forced its way through the thicket.   Her eyes widened and she whimpered as…

 

            That’s suspense, right?  We just know that something is going to leap out of the shadows at her.  A monster.  A wild animal. Something.  But how do you build suspense in a story so that by the time that monster does leap out of the shadows your readers are ready to leap out of their seats?  The more you build anticipation of that ‘boo!’ moment, the more your readers will react when that monsters does leap out of the shadows. 

 

It’s Not Just for Ghost Stories

            Suspense isn’t just about monsters leaping out of the shadows.  Suspense powers most fiction – will the main character succeed?  Will she find true love, will he solve the mystery, will she reconcile with her estranged father?  In all genres, readers keep reading because they want that aha moment, whether it’s the ‘boo!’ of something leaping out of the shadows or the softer ‘ah!’ of the conflict reconciled. 

            Suspense is a combination of two major components:  lack of information and risk.  We don’t know everything that is going on.  That’s the lack of information.  If the wrong thing happens (the monster leaps out of the shadows, the true love walks away forever) the main character is going to suffer.   The greater the risk, the more intense the suspense can be.  The risk is higher if the monster leaps out of the shadows and bites our main character’s head off than if she simply has to live with the loss of her boyfriend. 

            But suspense is not automatic.  You can increase it or decrease it, depending on how you handle your scenes.  A few critical tools affect the level of suspense in your story; information, something I call ‘spotlighting’, and character reaction.  Those three tools used well can increase the tension of your scene until you bring your readers to the edges of their seats. 

            Look at how they’re used in our very very brief scene at the start of this article.  We have lack of information – something is out there and it gives inhuman shrieks.  Scary.  We’re imagining that boogeyman under the bed.  We have spotlighting, focusing on Miranda’s slow turn and the huge thing forcing its way though the willows right behind her.  We know that any second now….it will emerge!  And finally, we have Miranda’s reaction to guide us.  Her heart is pounding, her eyes widen and she whimpers. It is awful!

 

Lack of Information

            Let’s look at that critical ‘lack of information’ first. This is where many novice writers err as they craft their stories.  The young heroine arrives at her uncle’s ranch and as the handsome young ranch hand steps out of the house, the woman gasps in recognition. Why this is Jem, who had a crush on her in high school and whom she spurned when she left for the big city.  But now she’s engaged to the young scion of a very wealthy family, although he’s very controlling and kind of scary.  The has thought of breaking up with him, but she’s afraid to.

            Wow!  We know everything that’s going to happen now, don’t we?  She and Jem are going to rekindle their original romance, the controlling fiancé is going to show up and live up to his scary reputation and Jem is going to have to save her.  Yawn.  We just have to wade through the 300 pages of getting there to find out how the end turns out.  We sure know what is going to happen.  No suspense left here at all – all because of too much information. 

            What about that ghost story or horror story?  Won’t it be scarier if we see the monster that Miranda is so frightened of?  Won’t it be even more scary if we know that the three headed gopher is out there gnashing its teeth in the darkness.  What?  You laughed?  You don’t think a three headed gopher is scary?  Uh oh.  So that kind of blew the suspense, didn’t it?  Miranda’s fear seems more silly than infectious.  Your boogeyman under the bed might not scare me.  (Afraid of a walking wheel of cheese with big teeth?  Are you kidding?)  My boogeyman might not scare you.  But if your readers can’t see that monster yet, each person will put his or her worst nightmare into that willow thicket.  The enduring popularity of H.P. Lovecraft, who wrote his horror stories in the thirties, is partly due to the fact that you rarely if ever catch more than a hint of what the monster looks like.  The unknown is nearly always more frightening than the known. 

 

Spotlighting

            At the movies, spooky music comes up as the hero enters the dark cave, the flickering torch held high.  Camera angles fill the screen with looming shadows and zoom in on the hero’s widening eyes as he turns the corner.   We do the same thing in prose.  By directing the reader’s attention to a particular detail, you make that detail important, powerful.  A few spotlighted details can change the scene from ho-hum to tense. 

            Angela pushed open the rusty cemetery gate and waded through the frostbitten weeds beyond.  The full moon lighted her way as she followed the flagstone path between the ancient gravestones and tombs.  Her grandmother’s grave lay just beyond a clump of leafless alders and she shivered in the cold breeze, as the moonlight touched the gravestone. 

            Well, it’s a cemetery so that supplies a bit of spookiness, but as for suspense…not much. 

            Angela held her breath as the rusty gate creaked open.  The noise shattered the stillness and the frostbitten weeds rattled disapprovingly  as she edged through them, as if warning her to turn back.  Gravestones like broken teeth grinned at her as she tiptoed along  the flagstone path.  A deeper darkness seemed to pour from the gaping mouth of a tomb and as she passed something rustled, inside.  A rat?  Angela shivered in the chill breath from the tomb.  Moonlight filtered through the clouds and her grandmother’s gravestone glowed like a pale beacon.  Run a voice in her head shrieked, but she couldn’t move.  She heard the rustling sound again.  Claws on stone?  It was getting closer. 

            Now we have suspense.  We’ve pointed the reader’s attention to attributes of the tomb that suggest that it’s haunted or contains something scary.   We’ve aroused readers’ expectations that something is in there. 

 

Character Reaction

            We look to characters to cue our reactions.  We identify with those characters. Their fear is our fear.  If you simply describe the situation and the character doesn’t react, then readers won’t react either.  In the first graveyard example, above, Angela simply walks to her grandmother’s tomb with reacting in any way to the gravestones or the tomb.  She shivers from cold but she has barely noticed the tomb – it’s just one of many.  We have no sense that she is frightened at all.  

            But in our second example, right from the start Angela is afraid.  She holds her breath as the creak of the gate shatters the silence and the weeds seem to warn her to turn back.  The gravestones look like broken teeth grinning at her, and the entire graveyard seems alive with threat.  The tomb breathes and she is frozen with terror even as her mind screams run. 

            Angela’s reaction is contagious and readers will begin looking over their shoulders.  The more realistic your character is, the more your readers identify with that character, the more strongly they will react with your character. 

 

Three Tools

            So remember the three tools as you work on your story; lack of information, spotlighting, and character reaction.  Whether you’re creating the gentle suspense of ‘will this romance succeed’ or a more thrilling suspense of ‘will this character survive’, you go about it in the same way.  Suspense powers your plot and keeps your readers reading. What will happen next?  Will they find out in time?  Will she get out the graveyard alive?